Great article, Sarah. We could swap thoughts and insights on this all day! There was so much I was nodding my head to.
I realised that throughout 18 relocations, I had triaged an enormous amount of my 'things', and I've come to my parent's home, where things have been lived in and accumulated over my whole lifetime! So right now, I'm living in the knowledge that at some point, I need to sort out a shed and attic space AND the rest of the house, but nothing can be done while I continue caring.
The stress of sorting 10 bags of Dad's clothes proved that it's best if I do the sorting much later. Emotional detachment is easier for me.
If you'd like to tag-team on a list/directory of things to think about I'd be happy to construct it over time with you. (we can DM more about it). The what we need to think about...
Also, on the flipside I had a BIG grey folder Dad made of 'what to do when I die' some things were helpful a lot I figured out myself, as I'm sure you did.
As for the projectors ... I think one belonged to one set of grandparents, one to the other set, and one to my parents. Now to deal with several bins'/generations' worth of slides ... 😳
At 50 I shifted from my gotta-get years into my gotta-get-rid-of years. My husband is even getting on board, initially from watching over my shoulder while I consume my current decluttering diet of YouTube videos and Reddit posts but he was later motived by seeing large open spaces in the house after I've "gone through things" and trashed, donated, or hauled to the curb the things that are only important to us because we've hauled them around the intermountain west every time we moved for the past 30 years. The ideals of "someday I'll get around to doing that activity I loved when I was 27" things have become grounded actions like "I'm going to flip through this photo album while I watch a movie on the couch, and toss the photos of mountains, clouds, and wildflowers". It's freeing.
Love this, Linda! The "gotta-get-rid-of years." Taking that realistic eye to the all-too-real stuff we really no longer need. I've seen you in action, and you are GOOD! (Except for that giant light-up candy cane 😅😂)
As always, I enjoy reading your posts, Sarah. I haven't purchased, but I keep looking at The NOK (next of kin) box system that has created forms to complete and a filing system for your NOK. I wonder if having the forms to complete could be another option for a "If I'm Dead" binder. I'm sure I'll want to edit the forms as they won't be exactly how I'd like, and will need to update every so often, but would give me a place to start.
You starting with writing your obituary completely confirms my writing/revision revelation this morning- start at the end and work backwards, tying the important strings together... if that makes sense.
Thoughtfully and honestly written...you are wise to gather your inventory check list now. I am considerably older than you and am still in relatively good health. However, my husband and I will need to sell our home and make other reasonable plans before too long.
I don't think anything you have said is morbid. It is an inevitability that no one can escape.
Responsibility for a beloved child with specific needs that can't be ignored is always a challenge. My dear dystrophic brother who died at 25, is an example. My adult son with learning disabilities is another. Good docs, friends, church, relatives and professionals, were our bouy...God bless you with the same.
Tina, thank you so much for your encouraging response! It is good to be reminded that we are all on the same path ... just with slightly different scenery ... and perhaps different levels of awareness. The past couple of years have awakened me to a lot of realities -- both sobering and beautiful. All best to you in Little Rock!
You have encouraged
me to ‘get at it’.. thanks, Sarah!!!💕
I'm so glad to hear that, Jewell -- have fun with it! 😊💕
Great article, Sarah. We could swap thoughts and insights on this all day! There was so much I was nodding my head to.
I realised that throughout 18 relocations, I had triaged an enormous amount of my 'things', and I've come to my parent's home, where things have been lived in and accumulated over my whole lifetime! So right now, I'm living in the knowledge that at some point, I need to sort out a shed and attic space AND the rest of the house, but nothing can be done while I continue caring.
The stress of sorting 10 bags of Dad's clothes proved that it's best if I do the sorting much later. Emotional detachment is easier for me.
If you'd like to tag-team on a list/directory of things to think about I'd be happy to construct it over time with you. (we can DM more about it). The what we need to think about...
Also, on the flipside I had a BIG grey folder Dad made of 'what to do when I die' some things were helpful a lot I figured out myself, as I'm sure you did.
Yes, Victoria! Let's DM about this. So many thoughts. Thank you for sharing your experiences here ... I am with you.
I think this is such important work to do now and a gift to your family. Also 3 projectors?!
Step by step, right? 😊
As for the projectors ... I think one belonged to one set of grandparents, one to the other set, and one to my parents. Now to deal with several bins'/generations' worth of slides ... 😳
At 50 I shifted from my gotta-get years into my gotta-get-rid-of years. My husband is even getting on board, initially from watching over my shoulder while I consume my current decluttering diet of YouTube videos and Reddit posts but he was later motived by seeing large open spaces in the house after I've "gone through things" and trashed, donated, or hauled to the curb the things that are only important to us because we've hauled them around the intermountain west every time we moved for the past 30 years. The ideals of "someday I'll get around to doing that activity I loved when I was 27" things have become grounded actions like "I'm going to flip through this photo album while I watch a movie on the couch, and toss the photos of mountains, clouds, and wildflowers". It's freeing.
Love this, Linda! The "gotta-get-rid-of years." Taking that realistic eye to the all-too-real stuff we really no longer need. I've seen you in action, and you are GOOD! (Except for that giant light-up candy cane 😅😂)
As always, I enjoy reading your posts, Sarah. I haven't purchased, but I keep looking at The NOK (next of kin) box system that has created forms to complete and a filing system for your NOK. I wonder if having the forms to complete could be another option for a "If I'm Dead" binder. I'm sure I'll want to edit the forms as they won't be exactly how I'd like, and will need to update every so often, but would give me a place to start.
Great idea, Anita! I'm sure there are many ways to go about these preparations, and that sounds like a good way to avoid reinventing the wheel.
You starting with writing your obituary completely confirms my writing/revision revelation this morning- start at the end and work backwards, tying the important strings together... if that makes sense.
Yes, I like it! Maybe by writing my obit, today and this year will make more sense to me. I'll keep you posted ... I recently shared a piece from the New York Times about a woman who writes her obituary every year and finds it an opportunity to course-correct ... and to aspire. Here it is, if you're interested: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/29/opinion/write-your-own-obituary.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Ok4.PodP.3Cxwy14tTcmP&smid=url-share
Thoughtfully and honestly written...you are wise to gather your inventory check list now. I am considerably older than you and am still in relatively good health. However, my husband and I will need to sell our home and make other reasonable plans before too long.
I don't think anything you have said is morbid. It is an inevitability that no one can escape.
Responsibility for a beloved child with specific needs that can't be ignored is always a challenge. My dear dystrophic brother who died at 25, is an example. My adult son with learning disabilities is another. Good docs, friends, church, relatives and professionals, were our bouy...God bless you with the same.
Tina Bodiak
Little Rock, AR.
Tina, thank you so much for your encouraging response! It is good to be reminded that we are all on the same path ... just with slightly different scenery ... and perhaps different levels of awareness. The past couple of years have awakened me to a lot of realities -- both sobering and beautiful. All best to you in Little Rock!