Thank you so much for reading my post and for joining me here! I try to respond to comments pretty quickly, but I do need to log for the day. I will respond to additional comments as soon as I can. ❤️
I always marvel at how you navigate your reflections forward, Sarah. I say forward, because even if everything is uncertain, and frustratingly we want to know a destination or describe the milestone, you're still moving with these changes in a forward motion - it doesn't look like a backwards move by any means...in my mind this means you're choosing to evolve...some folks use the butterfly metaphor and some folks say change to something...For me, after the ever changing shifts I've done and there's been many, I prefer Brené Brown's 'Braving the Wilderness' the book introduced me to Maya Angelou's quote '“You are only free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”
Perhaps, you're braving and exploring the wilderness to meet yourself, a culmination of all those who contributed to past experiences and people who have made you, you??
Does this resonate?
(can you tell I've been doing my own share of exploring and reflecting too ;-) I'm tapping back into my resources.)
Victoria, thank you for thinking of me and my journey, and for perhaps helping it make a little more sense. It is a wilderness time! And yes, what you say absolutely resonates -- I've been thinking a lot about the people and experiences who have helped build me into someone who can walk through challenges, and feeling so much gratitude. I appreciate you sharing your wisdom. ❤️
I found myself slowing down while reading this in order to fully absorb it. I am in the same season of life (my mom died a little over 2 years ago, also in '23) and have found grief to be a messy loop much like your second drawing. It's a constant getting used to what's missing, being hit with a fresh wave of missing and trying to get used to it again. I guess I find the question "Who am I, if not France's daughter?" to be closer to "Who am I, besides Frances's daughter?" And I think I've come to it kind of in reverse because I have always felt quite independent of my mom but now find myself more deeply tethered since she's been gone.
Leslie, I so appreciate your perspective on this, the question of "Who am I, besides Frances's daughter?" and the deepening of the tether, now that your mom is gone.
It is a hard and interesting and sad and ever-changing yet looping season to live on without someone ... I'm very sorry for your loss as well. ❤️
Oh! What a brave and beautiful sharer You are. It reminds me of the time someone at Touchmark asked if your Mom was Sarah Senior, remember? Who is to say? I love how you have become, or rather recome, both of your parents and also younique. I think you found your answer, Luv. Thank you for summoning the courage to share with us your journey and clear wisdom that comes with it. We are better and stronger now.
Janet, you have the best memory! Yes, I remember being asked about "Sarah Senior." That was a first, and it briefly turned my identity on its head! I love how you wordsmith this ... "recoming" my parents yet being "younique." So much food for that here. Thank you for seeing me! ❤️
Now I’m back like a boomerang because you inspired another beautiful thought and feeling: our children nurture us as much as we nurture them. Thank God, what a blessing.
So well put -- yes, such a blessing! Just today I have been exploring the idea of some big lessons coming my way from Max. You and I are on the same wavelength -- not surprisingly! :)
What a beautiful thoughtful piece that both celebrates your mum without shying away from the trickier parts of your relationship. I love the illustration too. So helpful sometimes to use those to explain difficult emotions we find hard to process.
I have to say I dread the day my mother dies. We are so close, having walked together through a very tough period of our lives, and I the daughter left behind after the death of my sister and debilitation of my father filling the gap where she left. Sooo much to write about this - but that can wait for another day.
As the kids say "I feel so seen" by your writing! As my mom declined, due to Parkinson's and other chronic health issues (I called it "dying by inches") it felt more and more like the scene in Return of the Jedi when Darth Vader takes off his scary helmet and is revealed to be just a scarred human. She was no longer the "Big Bad" of my childhood but instead someone much more frail and vulnerable. I am still trying to figure out how to live life when I have to neither gain nor fear her approval/disapproval. It's like the post I leaned against moved away.
Molly, this analogy you shared takes my breath away: "It's like the post I leaned against moved away." And that vulnerability you illustrated that in the end engulfs whatever it was that once seemed unapproachable. I feel seen right back.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts and for reminding me that this club is so big and so full of wonderful daughters (and sons) who understand what I'm talking about -- the love and the challenges that are part of the complexity of living life in a human family. ❤️
Thank you so much for reading my post and for joining me here! I try to respond to comments pretty quickly, but I do need to log for the day. I will respond to additional comments as soon as I can. ❤️
I love this Sarah. Yes, I am a club member and I too wonder who to talk with when I have an especially happy or sad experience.
Hi Caroyn, thank you for writing and for your understanding, as a sister club member. I'm very sorry for your loss. ❤️
I always marvel at how you navigate your reflections forward, Sarah. I say forward, because even if everything is uncertain, and frustratingly we want to know a destination or describe the milestone, you're still moving with these changes in a forward motion - it doesn't look like a backwards move by any means...in my mind this means you're choosing to evolve...some folks use the butterfly metaphor and some folks say change to something...For me, after the ever changing shifts I've done and there's been many, I prefer Brené Brown's 'Braving the Wilderness' the book introduced me to Maya Angelou's quote '“You are only free when you realize you belong no place - you belong every place - no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.”
Perhaps, you're braving and exploring the wilderness to meet yourself, a culmination of all those who contributed to past experiences and people who have made you, you??
Does this resonate?
(can you tell I've been doing my own share of exploring and reflecting too ;-) I'm tapping back into my resources.)
Victoria, thank you for thinking of me and my journey, and for perhaps helping it make a little more sense. It is a wilderness time! And yes, what you say absolutely resonates -- I've been thinking a lot about the people and experiences who have helped build me into someone who can walk through challenges, and feeling so much gratitude. I appreciate you sharing your wisdom. ❤️
I found myself slowing down while reading this in order to fully absorb it. I am in the same season of life (my mom died a little over 2 years ago, also in '23) and have found grief to be a messy loop much like your second drawing. It's a constant getting used to what's missing, being hit with a fresh wave of missing and trying to get used to it again. I guess I find the question "Who am I, if not France's daughter?" to be closer to "Who am I, besides Frances's daughter?" And I think I've come to it kind of in reverse because I have always felt quite independent of my mom but now find myself more deeply tethered since she's been gone.
Leslie, I so appreciate your perspective on this, the question of "Who am I, besides Frances's daughter?" and the deepening of the tether, now that your mom is gone.
It is a hard and interesting and sad and ever-changing yet looping season to live on without someone ... I'm very sorry for your loss as well. ❤️
Oh! What a brave and beautiful sharer You are. It reminds me of the time someone at Touchmark asked if your Mom was Sarah Senior, remember? Who is to say? I love how you have become, or rather recome, both of your parents and also younique. I think you found your answer, Luv. Thank you for summoning the courage to share with us your journey and clear wisdom that comes with it. We are better and stronger now.
Janet, you have the best memory! Yes, I remember being asked about "Sarah Senior." That was a first, and it briefly turned my identity on its head! I love how you wordsmith this ... "recoming" my parents yet being "younique." So much food for that here. Thank you for seeing me! ❤️
Now I’m back like a boomerang because you inspired another beautiful thought and feeling: our children nurture us as much as we nurture them. Thank God, what a blessing.
So well put -- yes, such a blessing! Just today I have been exploring the idea of some big lessons coming my way from Max. You and I are on the same wavelength -- not surprisingly! :)
What a beautiful thoughtful piece that both celebrates your mum without shying away from the trickier parts of your relationship. I love the illustration too. So helpful sometimes to use those to explain difficult emotions we find hard to process.
I have to say I dread the day my mother dies. We are so close, having walked together through a very tough period of our lives, and I the daughter left behind after the death of my sister and debilitation of my father filling the gap where she left. Sooo much to write about this - but that can wait for another day.
Siobhan, thank you so much for your kind comments. I'm wishing you all the best and looking forward to hearing more of your story. Take good care. ❤️
Again,your thoughts are very insightful and appreciated by me, thanks, Sarah.
Thank you, Kay. Your comments mean a lot to me, and I think of you so often. ❤️
As the kids say "I feel so seen" by your writing! As my mom declined, due to Parkinson's and other chronic health issues (I called it "dying by inches") it felt more and more like the scene in Return of the Jedi when Darth Vader takes off his scary helmet and is revealed to be just a scarred human. She was no longer the "Big Bad" of my childhood but instead someone much more frail and vulnerable. I am still trying to figure out how to live life when I have to neither gain nor fear her approval/disapproval. It's like the post I leaned against moved away.
Molly, this analogy you shared takes my breath away: "It's like the post I leaned against moved away." And that vulnerability you illustrated that in the end engulfs whatever it was that once seemed unapproachable. I feel seen right back.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts and for reminding me that this club is so big and so full of wonderful daughters (and sons) who understand what I'm talking about -- the love and the challenges that are part of the complexity of living life in a human family. ❤️