“Super Auntie” present and reporting for duty! This is what my family calls me (and I call myself!), and I’ve worn the title as a badge of honor for almost 20 years….but becoming caregiver to my mother has made all the other “super” things I’ve done over the years much more difficult to complete. Taking on her care over the last 10 months, means that I am able to say “No” to many things, mostly to doing things with people and attending activities that I would LOVE to do. It has always been a balancing act but the scales are more heavily weighted on everyone else’s needs more than my own more than ever before. The only bright spot is that I have found SO MANY other women in the same boat, struggling with caring for an aging mother (with all the baggage that relationship can bring), while trying to live some semblance of the lives they had before they were “on call” 24/7.
Rae Ann, my heart goes out to you, as does my admiration. I'm curious -- and I imagine others would be too -- how you might be managing to retain any semblance of the life you had before becoming a 24/7 caregiver to your mother. Because surely this responsibility does involve saying "no" to what used to be normal life, doesn't it? You are not alone -- as you know -- but that doesn't make this path any easier. Thinking of you today ...
I'm a terrible rest role model, Christine, but I have my moments! Here's one of my new strategies ... I am struggling to maintain my personal yoga practice but show up faithfully every week to teach yoga at the Y. And I usually feel fantastic afterward. So now I'm raising my hand more often when others need a sub. What is this? Resting while working? ;)
I hear you, Sarah. I'm sending you virtual hugs, cheering you on, and saying 'yes to rest' and 'yes to less' so that you can say NO! ;-) I've not been in the sandwich, so I really can't imagine how griddled you are right now.
BUT I feel a strong resonance. The days that spun into years when I had no idea how my hair looked because it was always in a top knot, and I wore gym clothes to bed primed for middle-of-the-night shouts and emergency action. I have a MUCH deeper appreciation for boring days and sleep now!
I think as you said, the key is claiming rest when you can And doing your best to keep yourself (mind-body-spirit) healthy so you can live life to its fullest with those you love....Bravo and I SOOOO see you.
So good to hear from you, Debbie! I am learning that there are many of us out here going through all sorts of versions of all of this. We are not alone ... but that certainly doesn't mean it isn't challenging! Take good care of yourself. <3
“Super Auntie” present and reporting for duty! This is what my family calls me (and I call myself!), and I’ve worn the title as a badge of honor for almost 20 years….but becoming caregiver to my mother has made all the other “super” things I’ve done over the years much more difficult to complete. Taking on her care over the last 10 months, means that I am able to say “No” to many things, mostly to doing things with people and attending activities that I would LOVE to do. It has always been a balancing act but the scales are more heavily weighted on everyone else’s needs more than my own more than ever before. The only bright spot is that I have found SO MANY other women in the same boat, struggling with caring for an aging mother (with all the baggage that relationship can bring), while trying to live some semblance of the lives they had before they were “on call” 24/7.
Rae Ann, my heart goes out to you, as does my admiration. I'm curious -- and I imagine others would be too -- how you might be managing to retain any semblance of the life you had before becoming a 24/7 caregiver to your mother. Because surely this responsibility does involve saying "no" to what used to be normal life, doesn't it? You are not alone -- as you know -- but that doesn't make this path any easier. Thinking of you today ...
Your list is an intense one! Any one of those items would have been a lot to deal with on its own, but all together?! 🤯
I'm glad you listened to your internal no and took some rest. And I'm hoping to learn from you, as I struggle with all of that as well.
I'm a terrible rest role model, Christine, but I have my moments! Here's one of my new strategies ... I am struggling to maintain my personal yoga practice but show up faithfully every week to teach yoga at the Y. And I usually feel fantastic afterward. So now I'm raising my hand more often when others need a sub. What is this? Resting while working? ;)
I hear you, Sarah. I'm sending you virtual hugs, cheering you on, and saying 'yes to rest' and 'yes to less' so that you can say NO! ;-) I've not been in the sandwich, so I really can't imagine how griddled you are right now.
BUT I feel a strong resonance. The days that spun into years when I had no idea how my hair looked because it was always in a top knot, and I wore gym clothes to bed primed for middle-of-the-night shouts and emergency action. I have a MUCH deeper appreciation for boring days and sleep now!
I think as you said, the key is claiming rest when you can And doing your best to keep yourself (mind-body-spirit) healthy so you can live life to its fullest with those you love....Bravo and I SOOOO see you.
I love that word: "griddled"! Yes. :)
Thank you for the hugs and encouragement to keep learning to say "no" ...
Sarah I feel like you are speaking right to me!❤️ Thank you for making so many of us who are having similar experiences feel less alone.❤️❤️
So good to hear from you, Debbie! I am learning that there are many of us out here going through all sorts of versions of all of this. We are not alone ... but that certainly doesn't mean it isn't challenging! Take good care of yourself. <3