R.I.P. preparations progress report
Steps 1 and 2: the obituary and the binder
<Welcome to Sandwich Season, where I explore the burdens and blessings of life in the sandwich generation—juggling the needs of my parents and son, who has special needs—in the hopes of encouraging others in similar seasons.>
Dear friends,
Two weeks ago in my post, “Preparing to Live in Peace,” I mentioned that I was going to start preparing to die now, so I can live the rest of my life feeling a bit more at peace.
Well, I did it. Here is my progress report …
Obituary
I wrote my obituary! And—bonus—Dad wrote his as well!
Takeaway No. 1: Writing an obituary doesn’t have to be that hard. Take out the funeral home and newspaper deadlines, and the grief, and it’s just a short piece of writing.
Takeaway No. 2: It isn’t like we have to reinvent the wheel here. There are millions of obituaries out there, and each one can serve as a template.
I pulled up the file containing my mom’s obituary, and warmed up to the task by switching out names and dates. Then I took out her details and added mine, plus a couple of quick anecdotes. And that’s it. Done.
Yes, it’s probably a bit too long, but my survivors can prune it back later. At least they’ve got all the info.
Takeaway No. 3: It’s very important to make this work find-able.
I printed off my obituary and put it in an old, repurposed, binder, which I labeled, so people can find it.
Binder
I felt so energized by getting the obituary written that I also started consolidating information related to Max. For starters, I’ve broken it down into “People to Know,” “Things to Know” and “Things to Do.”
In addition to preparing for the “just-in-cases” of this life, I’m finding it helpful to see these things all in one place. No wonder I have felt scattered! It’s been a lot to keep track of.
I’m having a hectic couple of weeks here, so I will sign off now as my mom used to sometimes sign her letters:
“In haste,”
Sarah
P.S. More to come soon!
If you enjoy this post, would you please give it a ❤️? It will help more people find Sandwich Season.
Nice Sarah... I really like the idea of writing our own obits..rather than reeling off a resume of life events - I can craft something more personal. There are so many aspects of my life arc that are far more important than the external markers of my life. (though some of those matter too). But I like the idea of being the one to decide what truly mattered.
Which reminds me, Sarah, that I have meant to do this same thing. No one else will remember your history accurately . Thank you for your inspiration!